Toaster Tales Chapter 2: The Three Toast Breakfast

I have been making my own breakfast since I was eight years old. Back then it was very simple: Oatmeal w honey & milk and two pieces of toast. Not the instant kind mind you, good ol' bowling water and Quaker Oats. I knew how I liked it, I knew how to make it, and I liked the independence of it all. My mother had my two younger siblings to tend to so I ate alone. Every day. I loved it.

20 years later, breakfast is still the best part of my day, and I still eat alone. Just me and my newspaper. For 30 minutes I live in the moment; in the present tense. I am at peace. The rest of the day, I will stress over the future, relive the past, and overanalyze every angle of every action, thought, feeling or emotion I experience throughout out the day. Mentally exhausted I will pass out sometime after 10. But by morning I will be ready to face another day. Right after breakfast.

So what got me thinking about the past 20 years of making breakfast? Today I made eggs. Nothing unusual there. But as I pushed down the toaster on my two pieces of bread I started to think. 'I hate how I always run out of toast before I finish my eggs.' Then I asked myself the question I had never thought to ask: 'Why can't I make three pieces of toast?' The obvious answer is of course, I can. But in 20 years I had never thought to ask that question. I even have a four piece toaster. So I threw in another piece of bread and enjoyed the first three toast breakfast of my life. It was as satisfactory a moment as I can remember. I spent the rest of my morning content.

Is life as simple as figuring out what you want and doing is? Can I just not care how it's been done before, or what other people do or think? Can fear or indifference turn the simple into the radical?

I am always good for questions, and so rarely good with an answer, but I can tell you this: You can learn a lot from a toaster if you just listen for a minute.

Under the Weather

Twenty years ago, I met a local news weatherman. I even received a signed photograph. I mean this guy was on TV every day. In my ten year old brain, I had just had tea with the queen of England. Not only that, I knew that signed picture was worth money. I still have that thing hidden away.

An optimist will read this and think about how cute and sweet and naive I was at that time. So full of hope and positivity. The pessimist will realize what and absolute idiot I was as a kid. I mean, I didn't understand that there were like 12 or 13 billion local weathermen in the US alone at that time?

I agree with the pessimist. That kid is stupid.

Bottom line, I think my life has only been more and more disappointing since that day. That was the day the crack in my hope began, and I fear that someday the dam will burst and all of the townspeople will drown. I always imagined that drowning would be a crappy way to die. I hate holding my breath. If you know me well, you know that I am the king of the 'life is great' speech. Well not today kids. We aren't ten anymore. Life is one big series of disappointments and failures, and the more you get the more you have to lose.

Last week I was sick for 8 straight days. I lost something that week. I am different on the other side, and I don't think I like this guy. He is very much alone. I think I am going to sell all of my possessions, and move to Zimbabwe. Well, all of my possessions except that photo. That's gonna be worth something someday.

Bands as NBA Players: Part V

Coldplay is Kobe Bryant*

The year was 2000. I was no longer a kid. The soundtrack of my youth had included 'With or Without You' (U2) as child who barely understood the meaning, 'Wonderwall' (Oasis) as a naïve 16 year old, and 'Karma Police' (Radiohead) as an 18-year old punk who thought he had all the answers. The signature songs from the groundbreaking albums from the best bands of my lifetime.

But this was the new millennium. I had just turned 21 and I was heading into my last year of college. The song was 'Yellow'. Everyone knew it, and everyone had heard it. You couldn’t get away from it. It took me a while to even remember who the artist was. In fact, remember when Gwyneth Paltrow started dating Chris Martin? I think I actually called him the "Yellow Guy" at that time. Of course the more musically astute at that time had the foresight to realize that Coldplay was a legit force in the industry. "Parachutes" is a great album. It just took a while for me to figure that out. And I wasn’t alone. Although it has since gone double platinum in the US, it only peaked at 51 on the charts. The 2000’s was a new era. I already had my rock stars. No one would ever be better than U2 so why try? No one could be as huge as Oasis was in ’96, and Radiohead was Radiohead and there would never be another. We were a generation of haters and skeptics now. If you were popular you had sold out, and if your song was on the radio you were a marketing ploy.

Then came "A Rush of Blood to the Head". Maybe I was wrong.

Kobe Bryant is the best basketball player on the planet. You don’t like how that sounds do you? Well I don’t know how or when it happened, but it’s true. You know it and I know it. You’re right, he’s no Jordan. Jordan is retired. You’re right, he’s no Shaq. Shaq was a freak of nature and it’s over now. I know you like Iverson. He’s one of you; blue collar and squeezing the most out of what he has. Kobe is privileged, and lucky and coddled. I know.

One day I just accepted Jordan was gone, and I looked around, and there he was. Kobe Bryant was just the best. Maybe he hasn’t earned it or deserved it. Give him time.

'In My Place' is an amazing song. I have listened to it a thousand times. I never wanted to be a Coldplay fan. In fact I was so late to the party I almost missed it, but I glad I didn’t. This song and the band’s second album made me go back and appreciate the first. By the time "X&Y" was released in 2005, I waited in eager anticipation, and we had a legit rock band with three multi-platinum hits. Coldplay had dodged the critics who accused them of trying to be Radiohead; they had ignored those who said they could never top Oasis, and as blasphemous as it is to say, we have a band for those looking for the next U2. Of course they are not, but it’s always fun to look. And while 'Yellow' was a massive hit, the band’s best may be yet to come. Hey you never know.

Kobe Bryant has three championship rings. Ironically, his claim to supremacy may not be stronger than the ’07-’08 season. Now in his prime with a strong supporting cast, pundits are finally admitting that he is the player you most want in the clutch. He is your first choice if you are in a must-win game, and there is no doubt you want the ball in his hands taking the last shot. Nobody wants to play against him that’s for sure, and this year could be his defining moment. His chance to stake his claim, to shake out of the shadow of Shaq, to prove his detractors wrong, and to take his rightful place as the best player of his era.

Maybe there will never be another Jordan, but Kobe has a chance to go down in history as the best to a generation of fans. On June 17, 2008, Coldplay will release their fourth album "Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends". If I have my druthers, Kobe Bryant will be carrying the Lakers to another title days later. So don’t be a hater. How often do you get a chance to see the best band and the best basketball player of the new millennium at the peak of their success at the same time? Who knows, maybe in 20 year we will be talking about the next Coldplay, and the next Kobe.

- Paul Phipps

* This is Part V in a series of columns by Paul Phipps. If you missed Parts I-IV, check it out in our blog section.

Bands as NBA Players: Part IV

Oasis is Shaquille O’Neal*

Dominance. When I first thought of Oasis, I couldn’t help but to recall when they first burst onto the music scene, and it felt like they would be on the radio every other song. But unlike so much overplayed music, they never got old. No matter how many times I heard 'Wonderwall' or 'Champaign Supernova', I didn’t change the station. Oasis was great and that’s just how it was.

The most dominate NBA player of my lifetime was a player I loved to hate. Shaq was a force, and in the post-Jordan era he would not be denied. Brute strength and over-powering post play was his forte’. He was unstoppable and that’s just how it was. Dominant.

And like Oasis, Shaq was unmatched at his peak and continues to maintain his relevance even after his best years are behind him. Musically, the early 90’s will inevitably be remembered for the grunge movement. Bands like Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, and Alice in Chains channeled teenage angst into mainstream success. Grunge gave Generation-X an anti-establishment sound that ran away from pop music as fast as their flannel shirts would let them. The fun and excess of the 80’s was over. Bleak music was king. Rolling Stone playfully referred to Seattle as "the new Liverpool," an ironic reference to the British city that played a large role in the UK’s pop music culture.

While Seattle was telling the whole world how dark things were, there was a 15-year old kid in Virginia Beach that tried to sing along to Smells Like Teen Spirit but didn’t really have that much to be pissed off about. Thankfully for me, 30 miles from Liverpool there was a little band in Manchester proclaiming "You and I are gonna live forever." For me, Oasis lived up to their name, and apparently I wasn’t the only one as "Definitely Maybe" became the fastest selling debut album in UK history (at the time), and went platinum in the US.

Pop music was far from dying, and Oasis set out to prove that it never would. When Jordan retired from the Bulls for the last time, it left a cloud over the NBA. The year after his retirement a lock-out delayed the start of the season and the future of the game was in doubt. Then Shaquille O’Neal proved one of the age-old adages of the NBA – you can always win with a dominant big man. Maybe Jordan had proven that scorers could lead dynasties, but Shaq would remind us all, thanks to three straight Championships, that the demand for an unstoppable center will never die. Shaq became the face of the NBA and helped guide the league through the post-Jordan years. By the time he won his fourth championship, his legacy was sealed.

If "Definitely Maybe" was the fresh-faced Shaquille that led the Magic to the finals and endeared himself to a new generation of fans, "(What’s the Story) Morning Glory?" was the Laker years. The album is the third biggest-selling album in UK history; it went 4-x platinum in the U.S. and sold over 18 million copies worldwide. And it wasn’t just the record sales, regular radio play continued years after the album’s initial release. Oasis were the Britpop Kings, and American kids like me couldn’t get enough. The band played before packed arenas around the world, most famously Knebworth House in 1996 where they played back-to-back nights in front of a total of 375,000 people. Even more impressive was the 2.5 million people that applied for tickets.

In 2005, "Don’t Believe the Truth" became the band’s sixth album, and like the previous five albums, it entered the UK charts at 1. It also contained two more 1 hits. Maybe there were no 15-year old kids singing along to 'Don’t Look Back in Anger', but Oasis proved they still had plenty left in the tank.

The following summer, the Miami Heat raised a championship banner to the rafters, in large part thanks to the big fella. The Lakers had to choose between Shaq and Kobe, and choose the younger, hungrier, more talented player. Shaq proved he could still dominate, and added another ring to his collection.

In the Summer of 2005, Coldplay rolled into my hometown having just released their third album, "X&Y" (the top selling album of that year). They were the hot ticket in town and all of my little brother’s friends were going to that show. I would have been there, except for one little thing. I was in another state, four hours away with a slightly older crowd. Oasis played before 18,000 strong and we sang every word of every song. I chose a four hour drive and Oasis, over a 10 minutes jaunt to Coldplay. There was time for Coldplay later. I couldn’t pass up a chance to listen to the soundtrack of my youth. Oasis, like Shaq, was just that dominant.

Speaking of, I leave you with this, tune in next week for the next band: Coldplay is Kobe Bryant.

- Paul Phipps

Next Week: Part V

* This is Part IV in a series of columns by Paul Phipps. If you missed Parts I-III, check it out in our blog section.

Bands as NBA Players: Part III

U2 is Michael Jordan

OK, OK. Calm down.

I know some of you just lost your minds. This is a good time to clarify the rules of this little game. Most importantly the bands are all from my lifetime; no Beatles, no Zeppelin, no Stones.

Point 2: It’s as much about the popularity, success, and social impact, as it is the quality of the music. And you know what? This is how they ’feel’ in my twisted brain; my game, my rules. Let’s remember how this whole thing got started. I needed a way to place the Chili Peppers in my mind. They are Karl Malone to me. You can argue Malone is better than Iverson, and I agree that Radiohead is better than the Peppers. The comparisons I made are based on all the factors I discussed in Parts I and II. Less important is who is better.

We can argue about that anytime. Lastly, almost by the definition of the game, the bands will be a little older than the players because a band takes a few albums to become established. Even Radiohead, who had a massive single on their first album, didn’t make it huge until "OK Computer", two albums and four years later. To a lesser extent NBA players can flame out, but we were pretty sure what we were going to get out of Malone and Iverson three years into their careers (Malone’s year three per game averages of 27.7 points / 12.0 rebounds were higher than his hall of fame career averages. Iverson averaged 23.5 ppg and 7.5 assists as a rookie and only got better). The Chili Peppers were formed in 1983, lost two members in ’88, and it wasn’t until ’91 that they released "Blood Sugar Sex Magik".**

Now that I wasted half of today’s column on the rules (just ask my ex-girlfriends; my need to be understood is insufferable), let’s get to U2 and Jordan. If you understand my explanation above this one is really as clear cut as any on the list: The best band and the best player. U2 fans will have no problem with this; non-fans and Jordan lovers may feel His Airness is being undersold. While U2 may not be the best band of all-time, their body of work, longevity, relevance, and success makes them one of the best ever, and certainly the best band of my lifetime. Simply put, U2 is Michael Jordan.

One cool thing about U2 is they were a huge success early. Their first album "Boy" (released in 1980) saw international release, a hit single (in the UK) and a European and United States tour. By their third album, "War" (’83), they had such hits as "Sunday Bloody Sunday," and "New Year’s Day." They were socially relevant as well, (again, celebrities and politics is another column, but you get my point. They were becoming larger than life). Why do I mention all this? Because in 1987 they made music history. Two words: "Joshua Tree". This is the album that gives them Jordan status. Two Grammys, two 1 singles (as well as a third that hit 13), 10+ million in US sales, and the cover of Time magazine. The "Joshua Tree" tour saw U2 playing in sold-out arenas around the world.

I’ll spare you the history lesson, but by 2000’s "All That You Can’t Leave Behind" (4+ million sales, featuring most-notably "Beautiful Day"), U2 had put out historic albums in 3 different decades.*** The nature of music includes tours, writing sessions, and the inevitable over-reaction to not living up to past success (see: Radiohead post-"OK Computer"). As such, bands cannot sustain success, or ’dominate the sport’ in the same way as a basketball player. But while every other band from the 80’s was drifting into oblivion, U2 immerged as a tour de force.

They are the band I will remember as the soundtrack of my youth. My kids will think of them as "classic" rock and I will feel old; just like the Beatles and Stones do for my parents. In fact, many wonder if the next U2 is even possible; in today’s musical landscape, can one band span THREE decades ever again? And that, dear readers is dominance in as clear as it can be attained by a band. U2 is not my favorite band, I never had their posters on my wall. And for most of his career, I cheered against 23. And that is the common thread: You didn’t have to love them to recognize the greatness. And as the careers climaxed and descended, you had to respect the legacy and we can’t help but look for the ’next MJ’ and the next U2. We may never see either again. Perhaps as a nod to his greatness, I will not even waste column space or your time to describe the impact Jordan had on the game, it’s history, and our culture other than to say this: like him or not, anyone who ever saw him play will tell that story to their kids; even if it was as a shadow of his former self in a sacrilegious Wizards uni.A nd when U2 rolls through your town, you better pay whatever you have to just to stand a half mile from the stage. You just can’t pass up a shot to see the greatest rock band of my lifetime.

It may never happen again.

- Paul Phipps

Next Week: Part IV

* This is Part III in a series of columns by Paul Phipps. If you missed Parts I-II, check it out in our blog section.
** Blood Sugar Sex Magik was the band’s 5th album and first smash hit. The bands 4th album, Mother’s Milk was the first to go gold but peaked at 52 on the charts.
***Achtung Baby was released in ’91 sold 8+ million records in the US. It featured 5 singles which made the Billboard Hot 100.

Bands as NBA Players: Part II

Radiohead is Allen Iverson*

Unique. Controversial. Wildly popular yet somehow under-appreciated

Radiohead is my favorite band of all time. I am going to see them in Charlotte next month, and I have never been more excited about a show. When I first thought of Radiohead I wanted to put them with Jordan, Magic or Bird; a sure-fire Hall of Famer. But then I thought about my favorite player of MY lifetime. It was easy: Allen Iverson. An all-time great that was worshipped by those that loved him, and misunderstood by those who didn’t. Both Iverson and Radiohead were at the same time overrated (by critics and fans alike), yet underrated and judged by the masses.

Radiohead had one-hit wonder written all over them after "Creep" became a massive radio hit. Some of you reading this right now would know "Creep" if you heard it right now, but have no idea who Radiohead is. Their second album, "The Bends" was (mistakenly in my opinion), considered a disappointment by many. But in 1997 Radiohead put out the best album of my lifetime: "OK Computer". It was revolutionary and relevant. You could listen to it happy or listen to it sad. It propelled Radiohead into iconic status for their fans and critics around the world.

They would never put out another "normal" album. There next 2 albums ("Kid A" and "Amnesiac") were recorded together and released separately. Oh yeah, it was done without guitars. They did not make radio songs, and they didn’t care what people thought about them. They didn’t care about the money or fame, and these ’weird’ albums sold by the millions.

They released their songs on Napster so fans could get a ’feel’ for the music and it made "Kid A" a chart-topping success (remember at the time every other band was trying to get Napster shut down). Fans and critics loved them for it ("Kid A" won the Grammy for Best Alternative Album and was nominated for Album of the Year), but to this day, there are many who wonder where the boys that put out "OK Computer" have gone.

Last year they released the critically acclaimed "In Rainbows" over the Internet. My Friend Who Knows About Such Things told me they made more money on that album than all of their other albums combined (thanks to not having a label). They don’t need the radio, and they don’t need you to like them. They have been called snobby, pretentious, and arrogant. All of those things are true on some level. But to those that love them, they can do no wrong. Those that know music know they are brilliant. And there will always be those that wonder if they could have done more.

Philly fans are notoriously rude, obnoxious, and unrelenting. When Philadelphia native Kobe Bryant returned to his hometown, he was booed lustily by the town he once called home. But with Iverson, it has always been nothing but love.

Misunderstandings with management and coaches? They loved him. Missing practice but pouring his heart and soul onto the court from tip-off to the final buzzer? They loved him. He could do no wrong, and he couldn’t take a bad shot. He was applauded after every miss, and brought the crowd to their feet with every make.

Critics lauded him as the hardest worker in the NBA, the little man who got more out of his body than anyone who ever played the game. A warrior, a gamer, a show-stopper…but the masses disagreed.

He was more style than substance, too much flash and not enough results. Yeah he could score, but couldn’t anyone who hogged the ball as much? He had too many tattoos before too many tattoos were ok (or at least overlooked). His cornrows and baggy clothes made it all too easy for people to dismiss him as a thug. He never cared. He didn’t do it for you, for me, or the fans. He lived his life and played the game for himself. As long as he could sleep every night knowing he was true to what he believed; that when the game began he would put 13 teammates on his 165-pound back and will them to a win. That’s all that mattered.

His "OK Computer" moment was 2001 when he won the MVP with a 31.1 ppg average, won the All-Star game MVP in leading a completely undermanned East squad to victory, and took his rag-tag Sixers to the NBA Finals. In game one he scored 48 points to upset the defending-champion Lakers. They would go on to lose the series, but I will never forget that season.

On any given night, in any given arena, Iverson could win you a game by himself. You could not talk about the best without him. Like Malone, there are players that were more consistent, or steady, or reliable. But you can’t talk about the best NBA players without bring up Iverson, and you can’t talk about the best band of my lifetime without mentioning Radiohead.

Maybe they weren’t your favorite, but you can’t deny me Iverson’s ’01 season, and you can’t deny me the best album of my life: "OK Computer".

- Paul Phipps

Next Week: Part III

* This is Part II in a series of columns by Paul Phipps. If you missed Part I, check it out in our blog section.

Bands as NBA Players: Part I

The Mailman Has Two Faces

Josh and I were driving downtown the other day and "Snow" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers comes on the radio. You know the song, "Hey Oh… Listen what I say Oh…" The next thing I know I am singing the words and having a significantly better-than-average time. "What a great song," I think to myself before remarking aloud to Josh,

"The Chili Peppers are Karl Malone."

The look on his face begged for an explanation so I continued, "Think about it. There are so many great Chili Peppers songs, but they are never a band that naturally comes to mind when I think about the greatest band of my life. In fact I don’t know anyone who says they are their favorites. But you can’t deny their greatness. Just like the Mailman. He even has his own nickname, but outside of Utah have you ever seen a Karl Malone jersey?"

This conversation dominated the rest of the night as the bands of my life became NBA players. And of course Josh has this annoying habit (he’s just like my dad in this way), of turning fun into work, so here you have it.

(Ok, first the rules. This is my list. These are bands that came to mind as I was thinking about the defining rock music of my life. All of the music and all of the players are from the modern era. I also went band first. Thought of a band and then the player. Some important players will inevitably be left of the list. Lastly a disclaimer: I am not a music guru. You are not going to get in-depth analysis; people way smarter than me do that stuff every day. A lot of the fun of this list has to do as much with the relative popularity and success of the bands as it does with the quality of their music.)

1. The Chili Peppers are Karl Malone

The Peppers have always been there, and they have always been the same. Consistently good. Solid. Steady. Always near the top, but were they ever the best at any point in their careers? Malone has a couple MVP trophies in his case, but even those are questionable. The win in ’97 is one of the sports world’s biggest ’oops’ awards. The media was tired of giving Jordan MVPs, so they went with, ’let’s give someone else a turn,’ and the nod to Malone was a more of a lifetime achievement award. It was fitting actually. And I think that’s my point. He deserved the lifetime achievement recognition. When he won it again two years later in the strike shortened ’99 season (the year after Jordan retired), I thought, "Why not him? Malone is solid." It was a perfect cap to a great career. But even with Jordan out of the way he could not deliver a title to the Jazz; it was a young Tim Duncan who emerged and led his team the first of four championships (more on him later).

When the Peppers collected their Grammy for Stadium Arcadia at last year’s Grammy’s I couldn’t say it wasn’t deserved. It was the top selling rock album of the year. I don’t remember anyone telling me I "just had to have it," but obviously people enjoyed it. As they stood there on that stage that night I thought, "Good for them. When you think about it, they have had a great run. They deserve it." And just like Malone, you’d never want to take anything away, but you don’t exactly remember a moment when they were the absolute best. But when you see a perfectly executed pick and roll you might think of Stockton and Malone, and if "Snow" comes on your radio I dare you not to sing along.

Next Week: Part II

Didn’t We Almost Have It All

"Didn’t we almost have it all...when love was all we had worth giving? The ride with you was worth the fall...my friend"

Those were the words of Whitney Houston that overpowered my senses as I rode home from the bar tonight with my dear friend Josh. Two (supposedly) straight men on the verge of tears listening to Whitney.

That happened.

And by tonight, I mean like 2 minutes ago. Yes it’s 7:36 PM. I guess I should backtrack a bit:

Today we found out that our radio show had been canceled. For the second time in two years, the powers that be were threatened by our success and took the time slot we had built and sold it to some shit show for three times what it was worth. They say it was about the money. Isn’t that what they always say? Who cares? The magazine went belly up when the LM deal fell through, so now it’s over. The end of an era. Once we were media moguls (not really, but for a couple hours a week it sure felt like it). Now we are forced to examine what remains. Some dreams come to an end. Was it worth it? Did it matter? Let’s see if Whitney has an answer:

"A moment in the soul can last forever…comfort and keep us.. Help me bring the feeling back again!"

Well, if that is true than it was. I can honestly say I’d do it all over again. You can’t always win, but you can always look back at your life and say you tried. Without this experience (and Josh pushing me allthe way), I would always wonder what might have been. Maybe now it’s just a memory, but what else do we have to live for.

"Couldn’t we reach inside and find that world of me and you? .. We’ll never lose it again ’Cause once you know what love is you never let it end... Didn’t we almost have it all…when love was all we had worth giving? .. Didn’t we almost have it all?"

I totally ripped of your style buddy, but I rode your coatails as far as I could go. I love you man. Lets keep shooting for the stars

The Night We Kicked Timmy to a Super Bowl Win

You can go to ESPN.com to read real commentary, but I had to document some thoughts on this game, as well as detail certain events which I want to remember when I retell the story of Super Bowl XLII. Like how we kicked Timmy to the win (more on that in a minute.) I never remember the numbers. I want to remember XLII. I never remember the location; this one was in Arizona. I watched from Sam and Noelle's living room; that is a fact I will never forget. First things first, Historical perspective: This was the best Super Bowl ever. Hands down. As a Ram's fan it is hard to be objective on two recent SBs that standout:

1) The win over the Titans that came down to the final stretch of the ball.
2) Two years later the loss to the Pats in which we were 14 point favorites, overcame a two touchdown deficit to tie the game with under a minute remaining, only to watch the Brady lead a game winning field goal drive as John Madden gave 13 reason why the Pats should NEVER try and score in this situation.

I have to throw out those two. I was too emotionally invested. And honestly, the loss stuck with me far more than the win. That led to my first ever long-term sports related depression. So my top Super Bowl had always been the Broncos over the Packers. Elway finding redemption over the defending champs, the end of the NFC dominance, and an actual decent game. Up to that point, the Super Bowl had been boring for most of my life as a sports fan.

But now there is a new number 1. Super Bowl XLII: Giants 17-Patriots 14. Ten random reasons why:

1. The Pats undefeated season is ruined. In this era, I never thought 19-0 was possible. Then I was sure this team would do it. The 18-1 chants were awesome after the game.
2. The game itself was amazing. I was into every single play. The game was just flat out enjoyable to watch. To ignore the subplots is impossible, but if you could, the game would have still have been the best played game of this season. Just a great performance by two great teams.
3. The boxing analogy: I would have taken the decision, but there is nothing better than a challenger knowing he is going to lose unless he can deliver the knock-out blow. (Giants in it all game = possible decision. Pats drive down to take the lead with under 3:00 left = late round knockdown makes decision win impossible. Manning crazy scramble and wild catch = "He's cut! The champion is cut!" Manning to Plax = "And the champ is down! I don't think he's getting up!" Brady gets rocked with 20 secs left = "7, 8, 9" Final desperate 4th down flail = "10!!! It's over, the Challenger has shocked the world!!!")
4. I hate Boston. So much that watching a NY team beat them brought me to ecstasy. (The definition of necessary evil). That just felt good. I worry that hate may be stronger than love, but the '06 World Series win still beat this feeling. Barely.
5. The Legend of Eli. When the Pats scored to go ahead, the real sports fan in me was glad. I wanted epic. More than just the Pats losing, I wanted a new champion to emerge. This was our chance to watch a star being born. No matter how it happened, 15 years from now, I will always remember the Pats losing, but what if this is the moment that launches Eli into the ranks of the immortal? Maybe it won't, but it could. Either way there is not a soul on this planet that takes Philip Rivers over Eli right now. And that was a legitimate question 8 weeks ago.
6. The Giants were better than the Pats. I like what Steve Young said after the game. If you ignore everything else and just look at January forward, the Giants are better. They knocked of a great Cowboys team in Dallas, a great Packer team in Lambough, and possibly the best team ever on a warm day with perfect conditions. They got to Brady. And they drove down the field to win. No excuses. The Giants prepared better, played better, and won. Fair and square.
7. Plax. Backed up his pre-game talk. When he predicted a 23-17 win, they scoffed at the 17. Brady even laughed. They scored 14.
8. Week 17. The Colts, Cowboys, and Bucs all mailed it in on week 17. They never won again. The Giants played their guts out and gave the fans the best game of the NFL regular season in a 'meaningless game.' They never lost again.
9. The Manning brothers are now officially the bane of Tom Brady's existence. Take them away and Brady has five rings this decade, and more on the way. Loved seeing Peyton at the game cheering on his little brother. Great theater.
10. Good triumphed over evil. For the first time in my life I was in a room with more than ten people from all walks of life and EVERY person was cheering for the same team. It was mostly Skins fans (even more reason to cheer against the Giants), a Raiders fan, a Colts fan, a couple Rams fans, and random women who were all having a great time watching this amazing game.

That last point leads me to the Timmy story. Somewhere in the 3rd quarter something good happened and Timmy was sitting on the floor so I gave him a tap with my foot. Like a high five but I was too lazy to bend over and give it for real. Then another good play. I was onto something. Every time something good happened, I would give him a kick. It started to catch on. By the time Eli hit Boss for that big gainer, the whole room was swarming him with kicks. The subsequent touchdown probably caused internal bleeding*. Then the Pats looked like the Pats again. As they drove down the field with ease, Timmy was safe. But Eli still had time. And when he pulled off the miracle escape and throw and helmet catch; well let's just say I think our kicking had more than a little to do with that magic. I am not an overly-superstitious man, but strap me to a lie detector and ask me if we kicked Timmy to a Super Bowl win? The answer is.......Yes.

And the answer to the best Super Bowl ever is XLII. Could not have asked for more. This is why we watch.

*Timmy is fine. He is a big guy that could have taken all of us had he wanted, but he was a great sport. And he secretly knew that we were keeping the Giants alive. Anything for a win

Change for a Dollar? - Part II

This is not a film review, just more questions.

I know I was late to the party, but after passing up several chances to see 'Juno' when it was first out, I just decided I was going. I was bored on a Sunday for the first time in months, and my group-text (I just figured out how to do that, so I'm addicted) yeilded one taker. Thanks Dave.

SPOILER ALERT: Good movie. Worth seeing. Better if you don't know what happens.

As I said, this is not a review. So here is my question. The whole movie, Juno avoids the other kid (George Michael from Arrested Developement...too lazy to look up his name). Then her dad gives her the big speech about finding someone who accepts you for you no matter what, flaws and all. That's the key to happiness. And he's so right. It fits perfectly with the movie, and I walk out saying, "Yes. That's it. I am very flawed. I should find some that accepts my flaws and still loves me for me."

But, (if you have ever talked to me or read me before, you had to know there was a but coming), I couldn't help but recall one of my favorite films the moment this scene was unfolding. In 'As Good as it Gets,' Jack Nicholson's character gets a girl he pretty much obbsessed about and should never be able to land with the old, "You make me want to be a better man," line. He made himself better to land a chick. Aim high, be willing to change, get a better girl than you deserve.

So which is it? Option A sounds a lot like settling. Option B sounds a lot like changing who you are for someone else. Don't all our friends always say don't settle, AND don't change who you are for someone else? Maybe our friends don't know what the heck they are talking about. All I know is in both movies, life was far less than ideal (pregnant kid, single mom w sick kid, OCD guy), but everyone ended up happy and there was good music when the credits started to roll. But it's one or the other. We find someone who accepts us no matter what, or we change to land a better someone. Which is it?

Today I Argued w a Toaster

It takes my toaster 1.83 'toasts' to make an ego. So I put in my waffles and click the lever. It pops up and I do it again. I go grab my plate and syrup and try to catch the waffles before they burn.

Today, after I heard the dreaded 2nd pop, I told my toaster, "That was too quick, I made it in time. Those waffles are NOT burnt." Well, the burnt waffle in my mouth begs to differ. So, to all my friends out there that think I talk to much and argue too loud, you are right. Just know that today, I lost an argument with a toaster. The lesson? I can think I am right all day long, but that doesn't unburn the ego.