Bands as NBA Players: Part I

The Mailman Has Two Faces

Josh and I were driving downtown the other day and "Snow" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers comes on the radio. You know the song, "Hey Oh… Listen what I say Oh…" The next thing I know I am singing the words and having a significantly better-than-average time. "What a great song," I think to myself before remarking aloud to Josh,

"The Chili Peppers are Karl Malone."

The look on his face begged for an explanation so I continued, "Think about it. There are so many great Chili Peppers songs, but they are never a band that naturally comes to mind when I think about the greatest band of my life. In fact I don’t know anyone who says they are their favorites. But you can’t deny their greatness. Just like the Mailman. He even has his own nickname, but outside of Utah have you ever seen a Karl Malone jersey?"

This conversation dominated the rest of the night as the bands of my life became NBA players. And of course Josh has this annoying habit (he’s just like my dad in this way), of turning fun into work, so here you have it.

(Ok, first the rules. This is my list. These are bands that came to mind as I was thinking about the defining rock music of my life. All of the music and all of the players are from the modern era. I also went band first. Thought of a band and then the player. Some important players will inevitably be left of the list. Lastly a disclaimer: I am not a music guru. You are not going to get in-depth analysis; people way smarter than me do that stuff every day. A lot of the fun of this list has to do as much with the relative popularity and success of the bands as it does with the quality of their music.)

1. The Chili Peppers are Karl Malone

The Peppers have always been there, and they have always been the same. Consistently good. Solid. Steady. Always near the top, but were they ever the best at any point in their careers? Malone has a couple MVP trophies in his case, but even those are questionable. The win in ’97 is one of the sports world’s biggest ’oops’ awards. The media was tired of giving Jordan MVPs, so they went with, ’let’s give someone else a turn,’ and the nod to Malone was a more of a lifetime achievement award. It was fitting actually. And I think that’s my point. He deserved the lifetime achievement recognition. When he won it again two years later in the strike shortened ’99 season (the year after Jordan retired), I thought, "Why not him? Malone is solid." It was a perfect cap to a great career. But even with Jordan out of the way he could not deliver a title to the Jazz; it was a young Tim Duncan who emerged and led his team the first of four championships (more on him later).

When the Peppers collected their Grammy for Stadium Arcadia at last year’s Grammy’s I couldn’t say it wasn’t deserved. It was the top selling rock album of the year. I don’t remember anyone telling me I "just had to have it," but obviously people enjoyed it. As they stood there on that stage that night I thought, "Good for them. When you think about it, they have had a great run. They deserve it." And just like Malone, you’d never want to take anything away, but you don’t exactly remember a moment when they were the absolute best. But when you see a perfectly executed pick and roll you might think of Stockton and Malone, and if "Snow" comes on your radio I dare you not to sing along.

Next Week: Part II

Didn’t We Almost Have It All

"Didn’t we almost have it all...when love was all we had worth giving? The ride with you was worth the fall...my friend"

Those were the words of Whitney Houston that overpowered my senses as I rode home from the bar tonight with my dear friend Josh. Two (supposedly) straight men on the verge of tears listening to Whitney.

That happened.

And by tonight, I mean like 2 minutes ago. Yes it’s 7:36 PM. I guess I should backtrack a bit:

Today we found out that our radio show had been canceled. For the second time in two years, the powers that be were threatened by our success and took the time slot we had built and sold it to some shit show for three times what it was worth. They say it was about the money. Isn’t that what they always say? Who cares? The magazine went belly up when the LM deal fell through, so now it’s over. The end of an era. Once we were media moguls (not really, but for a couple hours a week it sure felt like it). Now we are forced to examine what remains. Some dreams come to an end. Was it worth it? Did it matter? Let’s see if Whitney has an answer:

"A moment in the soul can last forever…comfort and keep us.. Help me bring the feeling back again!"

Well, if that is true than it was. I can honestly say I’d do it all over again. You can’t always win, but you can always look back at your life and say you tried. Without this experience (and Josh pushing me allthe way), I would always wonder what might have been. Maybe now it’s just a memory, but what else do we have to live for.

"Couldn’t we reach inside and find that world of me and you? .. We’ll never lose it again ’Cause once you know what love is you never let it end... Didn’t we almost have it all…when love was all we had worth giving? .. Didn’t we almost have it all?"

I totally ripped of your style buddy, but I rode your coatails as far as I could go. I love you man. Lets keep shooting for the stars