Bands as NBA Players: Part III

U2 is Michael Jordan

OK, OK. Calm down.

I know some of you just lost your minds. This is a good time to clarify the rules of this little game. Most importantly the bands are all from my lifetime; no Beatles, no Zeppelin, no Stones.

Point 2: It’s as much about the popularity, success, and social impact, as it is the quality of the music. And you know what? This is how they ’feel’ in my twisted brain; my game, my rules. Let’s remember how this whole thing got started. I needed a way to place the Chili Peppers in my mind. They are Karl Malone to me. You can argue Malone is better than Iverson, and I agree that Radiohead is better than the Peppers. The comparisons I made are based on all the factors I discussed in Parts I and II. Less important is who is better.

We can argue about that anytime. Lastly, almost by the definition of the game, the bands will be a little older than the players because a band takes a few albums to become established. Even Radiohead, who had a massive single on their first album, didn’t make it huge until "OK Computer", two albums and four years later. To a lesser extent NBA players can flame out, but we were pretty sure what we were going to get out of Malone and Iverson three years into their careers (Malone’s year three per game averages of 27.7 points / 12.0 rebounds were higher than his hall of fame career averages. Iverson averaged 23.5 ppg and 7.5 assists as a rookie and only got better). The Chili Peppers were formed in 1983, lost two members in ’88, and it wasn’t until ’91 that they released "Blood Sugar Sex Magik".**

Now that I wasted half of today’s column on the rules (just ask my ex-girlfriends; my need to be understood is insufferable), let’s get to U2 and Jordan. If you understand my explanation above this one is really as clear cut as any on the list: The best band and the best player. U2 fans will have no problem with this; non-fans and Jordan lovers may feel His Airness is being undersold. While U2 may not be the best band of all-time, their body of work, longevity, relevance, and success makes them one of the best ever, and certainly the best band of my lifetime. Simply put, U2 is Michael Jordan.

One cool thing about U2 is they were a huge success early. Their first album "Boy" (released in 1980) saw international release, a hit single (in the UK) and a European and United States tour. By their third album, "War" (’83), they had such hits as "Sunday Bloody Sunday," and "New Year’s Day." They were socially relevant as well, (again, celebrities and politics is another column, but you get my point. They were becoming larger than life). Why do I mention all this? Because in 1987 they made music history. Two words: "Joshua Tree". This is the album that gives them Jordan status. Two Grammys, two 1 singles (as well as a third that hit 13), 10+ million in US sales, and the cover of Time magazine. The "Joshua Tree" tour saw U2 playing in sold-out arenas around the world.

I’ll spare you the history lesson, but by 2000’s "All That You Can’t Leave Behind" (4+ million sales, featuring most-notably "Beautiful Day"), U2 had put out historic albums in 3 different decades.*** The nature of music includes tours, writing sessions, and the inevitable over-reaction to not living up to past success (see: Radiohead post-"OK Computer"). As such, bands cannot sustain success, or ’dominate the sport’ in the same way as a basketball player. But while every other band from the 80’s was drifting into oblivion, U2 immerged as a tour de force.

They are the band I will remember as the soundtrack of my youth. My kids will think of them as "classic" rock and I will feel old; just like the Beatles and Stones do for my parents. In fact, many wonder if the next U2 is even possible; in today’s musical landscape, can one band span THREE decades ever again? And that, dear readers is dominance in as clear as it can be attained by a band. U2 is not my favorite band, I never had their posters on my wall. And for most of his career, I cheered against 23. And that is the common thread: You didn’t have to love them to recognize the greatness. And as the careers climaxed and descended, you had to respect the legacy and we can’t help but look for the ’next MJ’ and the next U2. We may never see either again. Perhaps as a nod to his greatness, I will not even waste column space or your time to describe the impact Jordan had on the game, it’s history, and our culture other than to say this: like him or not, anyone who ever saw him play will tell that story to their kids; even if it was as a shadow of his former self in a sacrilegious Wizards uni.A nd when U2 rolls through your town, you better pay whatever you have to just to stand a half mile from the stage. You just can’t pass up a shot to see the greatest rock band of my lifetime.

It may never happen again.

- Paul Phipps

Next Week: Part IV

* This is Part III in a series of columns by Paul Phipps. If you missed Parts I-II, check it out in our blog section.
** Blood Sugar Sex Magik was the band’s 5th album and first smash hit. The bands 4th album, Mother’s Milk was the first to go gold but peaked at 52 on the charts.
***Achtung Baby was released in ’91 sold 8+ million records in the US. It featured 5 singles which made the Billboard Hot 100.