Change for a Dollar? - Part II

This is not a film review, just more questions.

I know I was late to the party, but after passing up several chances to see 'Juno' when it was first out, I just decided I was going. I was bored on a Sunday for the first time in months, and my group-text (I just figured out how to do that, so I'm addicted) yeilded one taker. Thanks Dave.

SPOILER ALERT: Good movie. Worth seeing. Better if you don't know what happens.

As I said, this is not a review. So here is my question. The whole movie, Juno avoids the other kid (George Michael from Arrested Developement...too lazy to look up his name). Then her dad gives her the big speech about finding someone who accepts you for you no matter what, flaws and all. That's the key to happiness. And he's so right. It fits perfectly with the movie, and I walk out saying, "Yes. That's it. I am very flawed. I should find some that accepts my flaws and still loves me for me."

But, (if you have ever talked to me or read me before, you had to know there was a but coming), I couldn't help but recall one of my favorite films the moment this scene was unfolding. In 'As Good as it Gets,' Jack Nicholson's character gets a girl he pretty much obbsessed about and should never be able to land with the old, "You make me want to be a better man," line. He made himself better to land a chick. Aim high, be willing to change, get a better girl than you deserve.

So which is it? Option A sounds a lot like settling. Option B sounds a lot like changing who you are for someone else. Don't all our friends always say don't settle, AND don't change who you are for someone else? Maybe our friends don't know what the heck they are talking about. All I know is in both movies, life was far less than ideal (pregnant kid, single mom w sick kid, OCD guy), but everyone ended up happy and there was good music when the credits started to roll. But it's one or the other. We find someone who accepts us no matter what, or we change to land a better someone. Which is it?

Today I Argued w a Toaster

It takes my toaster 1.83 'toasts' to make an ego. So I put in my waffles and click the lever. It pops up and I do it again. I go grab my plate and syrup and try to catch the waffles before they burn.

Today, after I heard the dreaded 2nd pop, I told my toaster, "That was too quick, I made it in time. Those waffles are NOT burnt." Well, the burnt waffle in my mouth begs to differ. So, to all my friends out there that think I talk to much and argue too loud, you are right. Just know that today, I lost an argument with a toaster. The lesson? I can think I am right all day long, but that doesn't unburn the ego.

Change for a Dollar?

Nobody's perfect right? So it makes sense that we need to grow, and that growth means change. But we always say things like "you can't change me," or "this is how I am." So do we change? Most importantly SHOULD we change.What if I like myself? What if how I am now makes me happy? But I guess if I am truly happy I wouldn't be asking these questions. But I like being different. I like carving my own path through the world. I think my life is good specifically because I do things my way.But what if my way leaves me alone? Is it worth it? Lastly, what does it mean to change? Can I just decide one day to NOT be selfish? If being a narcicist means that I react to the world based on how it affects me, then how can I change that? As a rational person, am I not required to have my own interest at heart?

If was as simple as 'when you find it you will want to change' then the world wouldn't be so misserable. I'm not 12 anymore. It's not that simple. That's why the movies end with a kiss at sunset. That's the easy part. The best movies end badly. Then the love is real but life doesn't ruin it. Bottom line: life is good. But what makes it good is hard to figure out. That's why I like to ask questions. Not for the answers, because they don't exist. There are only questions.

I'll sign off with the end of my film: "Oh yes you will. And you'll have it better; you are young and beautiful. Love was made for the young and beautiful. What I like is that I know you will remember me fondly. But you will have better, and when you think about me you will smile. And that's good enough for me." Roll credits...

Contentment

Friday is spent with people I love...good times. The kind of times that don't happen enough when I'm in a relationship. The people who never disappoint, and love me for who I am. MY peeps. Old stories, new jokes; we laugh a lot. They have wives, I have my brother. Its all good. But the night ends alone.

Saturday is the best and worst of the single life...complete freedom and the realization that most of the 3 billion women that you tell yourself are 'out there' are boring or slutty. Being 'out,' and doing what single people do only serves to remind me that as much fun as this is, I have no interest in spending significant parts of my life in this 'scene.' It's too empty at the end of it all.

Sunday only continues the contrast as I roll off the random couch I ended up on, and into a Starbucks for a pre-church coffee. A sundress catches my eye behind me; the dress might be new, but the wearer is not. What are the odds? How do these things happen?

Sad is Good

I am a fan of experiencing human emotions. Sadness is one of those. Being depressed sucks; I avoid it and would not recommend it. But a good clean sad moment/day can be very therapeutic. It makes me feel alive in a very unique way.

Don't avoid sadness; it's a part of your humanity.Some days we laugh, some days we cry...either way, live and experience this maddening and thrilling thing called life.

Last OC Blog

June, 2009 Note: I wanted to include my last OC blog for old time’s sake. A special shout-out to all my loyal readers and followers from the old days. One of my worst recaps; it feels very forced and rushed, but I thought it was funny to see my blogging just stop mid-season. 2006, what a crazy year.

OC Season 3, Episode 14, Review

We are back on track. The O.C. is drama-filled, and the death toll may be rising. Johnny's short run may be over, as Marisa's naivety and narcissism claims another victim. I was calling for the leap all night, and he took the plunge. Apparently Marisa, Tequila, and a rocky cliff is a bad combo. For those of us (myself included), who rolled our eyes at Oliver comparisons this season, we were wrong. Maybe not as crazy, but during the final scene when Ryan is talking him down, my mind was replaying the hotel scene from season 1 in parallel. Marisa strikes again!

Have you ever had a bf/gf that kinda sucked or pissed you off, but you forgave them? Things got better for a while, and you even thought everything might be better or different or at least OK? Then they do something stupid and ALL those old memories come back and you realize that its just never gonna work. That is Season 3 Marisa. She grew on me, I trusted her, and I was really giving her a chance. Then she got gay about the Johnny stuff, and all I can think about is Season 2 Marisa who I hated. So all the good progress she made this season is for naught. She just sucks, and I found myself, openly cheering for Ryan to give her the boot.

Ryan has began to progress, and I just don't think he needs her anymore. She is a pain, and she has ZERO self-awareness. She stumbles through life in a reactionary manner, and I hate people like that. She makes no attempt to better herself and seems content to play the victim of her own story. We know this will drag on; her self-loothing will force Ryan to be supportive even though SHE caused the drama...ugh! When I am wishing Trey would come back, you know Marisa is on my nerves.

Seth botched his chance to come clean about the weed, which sucked. I really don't know how that will play out. I guess Seth can't go to Brown and keep the show intact, and Summer can easily decide to stay on the west coast if Seth screws it up. I was just really liking Seth and Summer as a stable force in the show. I guess, we'll just have to wait and see how she handles his new hobby.

Nice touch at the end with Dr. Roberts. I think that is good fun. I hope they make a go at it.
As for Sandy and the Newport Group, I was mildly annoyed. I hate it when they pull the, "I know we told you last week that they had the project, but jokes on you, there is another board member to schmooze" plot twist. Annoying. Don't make me feel like they have the hospital job, and then drag it out. Be creative. A minor annoyance, but I needed to vent.

Kirsten has been quiet of late, but still looking lovely as always. Nice to see her calm and happy.
Ok onto this week's question: What is Kaitlin's motivation? Did she want Johnny? Did she want to hurt Marisa? Is she just a drama-junkie? She didn't seem really into Johnny other than a hook up after everything went down. I am just wondering what her angle is/was.

Glad to be back...cya next week,

Paulie

My Sister is Married

Man that is strange. As I danced with Tess minutes before I knew she was leaving, I could feel that life was different. It's these moments that bring life into sharp perspective. You remember the great times, you deal with regrets. There are moments that I will always treasure, and things I wish I could take back. It's a strange mix of emotions. On one hand I am so totally happy. On the other, I know my little sister is gone. Maybe it shouldn't be sad, but it is on some level. I knew this day would come, but it just came so fast. Even as I write this, I find myself tearing up. I still remember walking her across the street when we were little. Now I watched her run into that car and drive off. I love that girl, and I hope she always knows it. Congrats Ty and Tess. I couldn't have picked a better man. Who better than my best friend to take care of my sis? I wish you all the best.